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And so comparisons between modern marital relationships and those of an ancient near eastern culture should always be approached with caution and with attentiveness to context.(I’ve written more about this in my forthcoming book.)Grace’s chapter on submission will make egalitarians cringe, but it would take too long to dissect all her arguments here.Others develop a heightened sense of self-importance and arrogance, as they slap the word “biblical” in front of each of their opinions, claiming to speak on behalf of God on every given topic.Still others live complete lies, lecturing the congregation on the importance money management on Sunday while struggling to overcome secret credit card debt on Monday.And so I believe we all bear some responsibility for creating an environment in which controversial Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll can write a book about sex and marriage that tops the Amazon bestseller list.Given Driscoll’s alarming preoccupation with sex and “masculinity,” and the immaturity with which he has addressed these subjects in the past, one would think Christians would approach this book the way they would approach a book about nutrition written by a pastor who struggles with obesity...(or a book about overcoming procrastination written by me!As he has in the past, Mark essentially reduces the Song of Songs to a sex manual, instructing wives to be “visually generous” with their husbands.

For example, rather than insisting that a woman stay attractive for her husband lest he be tempted to cheat on her, Mark suggests that a man make his own wife his standard of beauty (and vice versa).

He does a much better job of emphasizing mutuality in sexual relationships than he has in the past, (though I’ve never quite understood why so many complemementarians insist on hierarchal-based relationships in which wives submit to their husbands “in everything,” while simultaneously acknowledging the importance of mutuality when it comes to sex..that’s a topic for another day).

Books that claim to prescribe “biblical sex” will always be selective.

” which has scandalized so many people with its advice on everything from oral sex, to role playing, to sex toys really isn’t that shocking to me.

It seems like common sense that couples should feel free to engage in such activities if both partners enjoy them, so long as they don’t become obsessions.




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