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But on the day of the date I received an angry text.“When were you going to tell me you are trans? My work in the media and a couple of published articles must have tipped her off.

The irony, of course, was that my trans identity was not really something I was trying to keep hidden—from her, or from anyone.

This June, for instance, I attended the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference for the first time.In my case (and perhaps for many trans folks), going online for potential romance felt like a safe first step in cultivating my new, authentic self—in being able to reach out to others as the man that I was and am.Plus, since I live in a small community, there aren’t many opportunities to date and less of a selection of potential partners.After this notable dating disaster, I went on other dates that didn’t go as badly; but quite honestly, many people are not as open-minded as they’d like to believe.I recall planning a couple of potential dates in which the person explicitly acknowledged being comfortable about meeting a trans person, and then would politely back out before the date even happened.

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