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An alcoholic tends to make a lot of promises that are broken. Their self-image is defined by negative and/or confusing messages. They probably are because their childhood was different.There traditionally is not a model of completing tasks. In order to escape the pain, children of alcoholics tend to isolate themselves.Even when a relationship gets toxic, they will remain because it feels secure.They get an idea in their head and have to do it regardless of the consequences or hurt they will cause. This can make them feel out of control, which causes fear.

I shared the things I’d want you to know about what it’s like to be me. This means you might be giving more in the relationship than you are receiving, and I’m sorry.

I felt like an eleven year old in a room full of adults. A deeply rooted fear of authority and constant need to please ruled my world. During counseling and research, I came across the phrase Adult Child of an Alcoholic. Left unidentified and unresolved, these unhealthy characteristics will plague our families from one generation to the next. Janet Geringer Woititz identified 13 common characteristics.

If you are an ACOA, or know one, there are probably struggles with at least a few of these.

Every time my boss would walk in I would get nervous. I lacked a confident identity and personal freedom.

I’d bury myself into my computer screen hoping to not be noticed. I started to take an honest look and seek answers to those questions. However, he had deep, unresolved pain that he numbed with the bottle. The most startling realization though was that, although I didn’t drink, I could still be passing on these effects to my children; mainly in what I was modeling.

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In terms of infidelity, the theory states that when sex-ratios are high, men are more likely to be promiscuous and engage in sex outside of a committed relationship because the demand for men is higher and so this type of behaviour, which is desired by men, is more accepted.