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With all death there is a final breath, and you must learn to focus on yours. A man’s gotta know his limitations, as Clint Eastwood would say.

Learn to enjoy the stillness and quiet that solitude may bring.

I was too busy scribbling away in my Ivory Tower to keep in touch with friends and family, much less go out to see them and have a drink or dinner or even coffee with them.

They would invite me out, I would choose art over friendship, and I would turn them down.

I was getting closer and closer to the elixir, to the grail, but I still had miles to go. I always took women out for coffee for a first date, because it was casual, low key, and allowed us to face each other and talk and listen and learn about each other. We met at a tea house near the University of South Florida. Because I loved being nerdy and doing nerdy things. A warrior is slow to trust, but ever watchful for those who have earned it by their actions. Getting angry because you didn’t get what you want, or getting sad because things are moving too slow are the ways of a child. The world keeps turning regardless of your petulance. You must release to the wind your fantasies and daydreams, for they can lead to madness and crisis.

We spend the evening talking about movies, television, our past, our desired future, vegan diets and read aloud from a Post Secret book. At the beginning of my journey, I would have taken this as a slight. I had rediscovered my love of Star Trek and went to local conventions. Don’t be afraid to go outside, it’s beautiful out there. I was going out, making new friends, going to conventions, discovering new things and just generally running from here to there and back again. I needed to find balance between my social life and my need for solitude and quiet. You must become a man who does not fight reality, because reality always wins. You must kill any and all false selves that you have created to protect you.

All I knew was, that as a man, I had to take action. I rushed out into the world, signed up for dating services, started going out again, and the pain only increased. You can have a great social life, you can start dating again.

You can surround yourself with those who are proud to call you their friend.

They have given up most of their childish ways and have finally matched the maturity level of a 25-year-old woman.When I turned invisible, it took a lot longer, but it was just as painful. The hero sees this desolation, and he knows that things must change, but he does not take action. He remains invisible.♦◊♦It took our good Dr Griffin quite some time to discover the exact formula for invisibility, but you and I can recreate it any time that we want. Even though each of us can become invisible, each of us has a unique path to transparency. Take a look at your life and see if any of these elements are in your life at this time. As Lennon said, life kept on going while I was making plans, hatching schemes and building dreams.As men over 40, there comes a time in our life when we begin to feel this invisibility overcome us. In the beginning of the Hero’s Journey, we have the wasteland. The awkwardness of my teens and the partying of my twenties had led to the sowing wild oats of my thirties.The partner of your dreams will not come knock on your door and present herself to you, you must journey out to find her. Meet that Universe halfway and join us out here in the world. Become a man who has friends and make sure that they are proud to call you their friend. Remember that you are cradled in the arms of a Universe that loves you. Should these steps prove too difficult, that’s okay.




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