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What the family I worked with came to understand is that when it came to their daughter, if it wasn’t one loser it would be another loser.

In other words, it was pointless to focus their attention and energy on helping her get rid of her current biggest loser.

A woman who doesn’t really have anything going on is not worth your time.

Modern life is too expensive for everyone’s ambitions not to matter. I think we’ve all, at some point, been involved with a woman who was so wrapped up in some aspect of herself that it made her a loser in her own right, whether it’s her job or something else (and we men are just as guilty of this).

As uncomfortable as it may be, it’s time to look in the mirror and see what anxieties are reflected back at you.

They may be hard to face, but they offer important information about what you’re doing to create and repeat these patterns in your relationships.

Theories explain that which we all have a hard time swallowing: We date at our same level of emotional maturity.

Really, that goes for all people who defines themselves through a singular characteristic. You can’t “cheat” by pouring yourself into and perfecting one single aspect of it and then expecting everything else to fall in place.

Given that, if ambition is something that’s important to you, it would make sense that it would be something important to your partner as well.

An earnings rift, or at least one caused by one less-ambitious partner, can and will wreck a relationship.

According to them, when it came to the men their daughter would fall in love with, it was always the same story: “He would move in too quickly, never pay any bills, use her, verbally abuse her, and never find a job.” Every time she would break up with a guy, her family would be relieved . I, as the therapist, could see that there was more to this. Do you find yourself getting in the same fights or dealing with the same relationship issues so much that you feel you’re having déjà vu?

It may be hard to grasp and accept, but when you find yourself continuously dating the same person, there is one common denominator, and that is you.




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