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Acceptance is the most powerful tool in making a man feel loyal to you.

Now that does NOT mean accepting behavior that is inherently unacceptable.

She was flattered and really wanted to give you the best possible answer.

Her only recorded thoughts on dating have been compiled in a four-page section of “Why He Disappeared” and I’ve been told, much to my consternation, that her part is the best part of the whole book.

Wherever you draw the line becomes the line Some women freak out if he talks to another woman, has lunch with another woman, says something cute on Facebook to another woman, or looks at another woman.

I think this is a bad policy because it’s essentially asking him to spend his entire life lying to you and denying the existence of any other woman.

Which brings me back to the three things my wife had to say about your question: 1. My wife trusts me so much that even when she had physical evidence that I was cheating on her (panties in the dryer), she still believed me when I swore that I wasn’t. My wife knows infidelity – she’s had three boyfriends cheat on her – and each time, she knew when something was wrong. As my wife pointed out, if he’s going to cheat on you, he’s going to cheat on you.

Her wisdom was in not treating those men (or me) as if they were untrustworthy until they actually did something untrustworthy. You can’t stop it with fear or worry or interrogation or jealousy.

As to your provocative question about how much freedom you should give a man when you’re in an exclusive relationship and how do you deal with the inevitable fears and insecurities, allow me to set the record straight: It is not at all difficult for my wife to deal with me, for one huge reason. The way other people value religion, I value doing the right thing.

You really can’t do anything about it, so you might as well try to enjoy the ride. Trust As I’ve long said, it’s either full trust or no trust. Even if he’s attracted to other women, he would never think of jeopardizing his relationship for a quick fling.

If you truly trust your guy, you couldn’t even imagine him cheating on you. And so you let everything go that is not actually cheating behavior – and watch him express his further devotion and appreciation to you.

I don’t know that I’d go that far – but I would say that learning how to best deal with an alpha male from the horse’s mouth is pretty invaluable.

I’m quite candid that everything I teach comes from the “What Would My Wife Do? Wouldn’t even occur to her that I would ever do anything to breach our vows.




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